So at this very time last week, Bri and I were just settling into the hospital room for the night starting my induction. We were so excited and had so much energy that it was hard to even try to find the right spot to get some good rest. Since that last week, I've gone through 40 hours of labor in a failed induction, had a c-section, met our daughter, saw her off to surgery for her Norwood, been discharged from the hospital and moved into the Ronald McDonald house; all the while seeing many family members and making trips to visit Livvy either in the NICU or PSHU. Whew!
Tonight I am in a completely different mindframe than I was last Thursday. Last week was filled with fear and uncertainty about what the future would hold for Olivia and tonight I am filled with so much love, hope and excitement for what lies ahead. Olivia has the toughest of the three surgeries behind her and she is stable! The doctors and nurses continue to tell us on a daily basis that she's doing great, but I do not let that put me completely at ease because life can change in a blink of an eye so I will not take it for granted.
That love part that I mentioned? I'm gooey with it. Love for my new beautiful baby girl who I want to breathe in every time I see her, love for my amazing husband who really hasn't left my side in a week and has done so much to make me as comfortable as possible while I've been recovering and is overall my best friend in the whole wide world, and love for our families who have been great to us throughout - and I have to single out my parents because they were the other people that I kept asking for in the recovery room after my c-section. I felt like I couldn't be totally put at ease until I got to see them and hear them tell me that everything would be all right. It was like I was a little kid again and they had just kissed a boo-boo after a fall and the world was right again.
My recovery has been slower than I would like, mornings are hard to get up and get around. I feel like I'm walking around like a little old biddy, but trying to be patient so that I don't cause myself more harm and further delay the process. Needless to say I'm like a horse with a carrot. Olivia is my carrot and the desire to want to see her each morning just gets me going and we try to get to her as soon as we can to start our day. Brian is no better, in fact I have to laugh because sometimes I think he'd cut me lose just to get to his little girl faster. His heart practically bursts out of his chest when he talks about her, thinks about it, or sees her; Olivia and I couldn't be any luckier to have him in our lives. A week ago was truly the beginning of our own little family.