This past weekend Olivia and I had a Mommy/Daughter weekend while Brian went off to hang out with his brothers and friends.
Saturday morning I decided little girl was a bit antsy and needed to get out of the house to get some fresh air, sunlight and visual stimulation from her favorite pastime - shopping of course! I got her dressed, threw on some sweats and we were on our way. But Mommy needed some coffee first, Starbucks was just on our way to Costco and bonus was this one has a drive thru so I didn't even have to unload Midge. Latte secured, we drove over to the Costco and were making our way in when I had one of those moments that gets me every now and then.
We had just parked our very nice Livvymobile, were making our way in to the store, I looked down and saw name brand everything on me, name brands on Liv, Starbucks in my hand and loaded little branded wristlet just waiting to see some credit card action. A few years ago I don't even know that I would have taken notice or had the thought of just how much I have; and I certainly wouldn't have taken note of the fact of how little it all really matters.
When I think of the benchmarks that I would have used pre-Olivia to sort of note my future children's success and content; I'm sure it would have been a combo of good health and wealth. Did they aspire for higher education, did they have stable well-paying jobs, did they make good sound financial decisions to plan and protect for their future families? Alas, life dealt a different hand and things have changed and as I've observed, there's been an evolution. I want what is best for Olivia for her health, for her future but mostly happiness; because what sort of life are you leading if you can't manage a smile at least daily in the worst of times?
In my mind what I should have been focusing on all along thinking about my future children was their happiness, what sort of people would they be? Hopefully kind, loving, responsible, and respectable contributing members of society. Would they give more than they would expect from others? Had I done everything I could to make sure they were independent enough to take risks and strike out on their own? You see where this is going, it was a moment for this Mommy for sure...and all in a matter of our walk from the car to the store.
As a sidenote - our trip to Costco was one of the worst ever! Too crowded, impatient/hungry Liv and the free sample Saturday options just weren't cutting it.