Yesterday was a first for Olivia and I. The first time ever going to the hospital for a cardiology appointment just her and I. People offered to go with us and Nonna was almost packed up in the car ready for the trip but Liv is still having a super hard time warming up to me right now (peanut gallery reserve your comments). There is something very about my presence and physical touch to her little body that makes her think of a portion of her hospital stay. She is literally scared when I get to the house to relieve the Grandmas and it takes a good forty-five minutes to get her to warm up to me. By the end of every night she's always giving me hugs and kisses, but it's not like it was pre-Fontan in the least.
Anyway, to make a long story short, I needed to take her to the lab first to get her INR drawn and see how the new Coumadin dose is going, how's liver function and sodium levels. Then we were off to Card Clinic to see everyone and get the run down there. I thought for sure she had an echo is store for her but they listened to her chest, reviewed her vitals and said that she could come back in 2-3 weeks - that it was completely up to Brian and my discretion. However be prepared they will be doing an echo during that visit and she'll need a holter monitor again before they think about weaning her off her arrhythmia medicine. No meds were tweaked this visit, but on the plus side the staff took mercy on her and has okayed giving her 4 additional ounces of fluid per day. All in all a great visit and Liv didn't even seem to resent me for the day's turn of events; at least that was how I interpreted it.
Little did I know Stinkerbell had other plans for me. On the way back to the house from the hospital missy dozed off while I navigated highway traffic. Not too far from both grandparents house she woke up and started coughing like maybe saliva went down the wrong pipe and then very quickly was followed by her milk, her lunch and just about anything else she'd eaten in recent history. The next two minutes were the scariest moments of my life - I don't think that's an understatement. She was choking, I was on the far left lane with no shoulder and had to veer across 4 lanes of traffic going about 70 mph while keeping an eye on her, finding a place to stop on the shoulder and getting out to help. By the time I got around to her side, it seemed like she had cleared whatever she had been choking on, but my hands were still shaking. I just had this horrible thought that she had made it through some of the toughest weeks in her entire life and this - this ordinary normal coughing fit had become life threatening because of a bad gag reflex? The irony just seemed so cruel. After a state trooper chased me off the highway in the midst of my cleanup I tried my parents first, no dice. Swung by Brian's parents where Grammy saved the day. She stripped Liv down and made the genius suggestion that I switch car seats with her so she could clean up my wrecked one and Liv could ride in comfort and cleanliness. After 30 minutes we were back on the road, Liv was no worse for wear but I think I'm still freaked out. I didn't sleep last night listening to all her sounds in the monitor and just laid there thinking once again what could have been. Motherhood is definitely not for the faint of heart.
No comments:
Post a Comment