I am quite certain that if Liv could talk this is precisely what would be coming out of her mouth right now. Sometime early this morning after rounds they turned off her paralytic but left her sedated. It was taking a long time to get any movement out of her, a long time, I mean where Mommy was starting to wonder - what is the problem people. But around 4 this afternoon, Sleeping Beauty opened those big brown eyes and started really moving her arms pulling at lines, her vent, making gestures (no middle fingers) and definitely indicating she was confused, in pain and wanted out.
Versed and morphine were given, silent cries ensued. More versed and morphine were given. Tears stopped but the gesturing was still going on. She has a gesture that she says with the phrase "all done" and she was making that. Very much like "All done - get me out" over and over. She pointed towards the door with anxiousness. Finally, satisfied with her BP, HR and all the other vitals, they came down on vent and nitric settings again and eventually gave her another paralytic that has a shorter half life - meaning they can control it easier and turn it off when they extubate tomorrow.
Just the fact that she was there making signs that I know and recognize flooded me with relief. The little girl that I know and love is in there just waiting to have the vent pulled so she can yell at all of us for doing this to her. Yell away Livvy, let it all out.