Well in about 48 hours from now, I'll already be well underway with the induction. Yesterday was my official last day in the office before the start of maternity leave and the common question was "How excited are you?". The answer, much more complicated than I can actually form into words.
First, I can't imagine that many women are excited about the prospect of labor and delivery which is the first hurdle we need to cross to meet Olivia. I am going in with the thought process that it's going to be sucky and anything better than that will be a bonus in my mind. Secondly, we're only going to have about 15 minutes with Olivia once she's born before they whisk her off to the NICU for observation and testing. While I'm so incredibly happy to have any time with her at all, I'm already having a pity party for myself about those few short minutes that will have to satisfy us for hours before we're allowed to see her again. Lastly, the first week of her life is going to be filled with tests and the Norwood surgery. I know she needs the surgery, I know that it's best for her, I just can't look forward to it.
So that my friends and family pretty much sums it up. I cannot wait to see what she looks like and to see her little personality on the outside, but I can also say that I'm not thrilled about our immediate future. This too shall pass and I'm sure that once we get the surgery done, regardless of the struggles and complications that may arise that I will feel better that we've at least started on this long anticipated journey as our little family. One amusing tidbit while I was feeling a little sorry for myself late Monday, I did some retail therapy but instead of for me like I would have in the past, Olivia is now the benefactor of my stress outlet. She has some pretty cute outfits to show for this first trip. Oooh I can't wait till I can buy her some shoes!