Monday, January 17, 2011

Questions, questions and more questions

I'm in a bit of a philosophical mood today, so if you want to stop reading now, I'm cool with that - I won't take offense.

I think that I have the makings of endless questions in my future.  I anticipate having to answer "why is the sky blue?" and all the other endless questions that children wonder aloud to their parents or grownups; sometimes having to consult an encyclepedia or internet to answer.  I can just tell by Olivia's face that she's going to be full of questions as she's taking everything about life in.  There's two that I anticipate which will not be easy to answer - at least not on the surface.  The first being why her heart is different from a lot of other people.  While I know why it is different from others, it doesn't really explain why Olivia's heart is different and others aren't.  So I'm trying to brainstorm ahead and think of things to really explain as logically as possible - have I said lately that I'm a planner?  I didn't really get very far other than being absolutely convinced that her heart makes her and us who we are.

The second - "Mommy how come you always tell me you love me?".  I've thought about this one long and hard, it's so much more than "Because Olivia, I do love you more than there are stars in the sky".  While I think it's super important to tell those close to you that you love them and value them, I think too often people get stuck in a rut and go through the motions.  Actions do speak louder than words and I want her to know that she can count on all those around her who love her and care for her by us showing it daily.  In my opinion if you love someone, you love them as they are.  Sure, you may want a few things to go differently, but overall you're going to take them as they are; flaws and all.

I want her to know that love isn't about being the most beautiful (although of course I think she is!) or the best; but it's about bringing out the best in one another regardless of the nature of the relationship.  It's the friends and family that will call you out on your junk when you need it and the ones that will wipe away the tears on the worst of days or times.  It's easy to celebrate and be there for one another when times are good and people are at their happiest - it's who's going to be there when you need it that shows love.  So while I'll continue to tell her daily how much I love her, I hope she doesn't have any questions about it by my actions as well.  I think I'm going to go home and start reading Curious George to her tonight since she already has me really thinking.

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