Friday, January 14, 2011

Why Not Us?

I'm in Las Vegas on business this week and catching up with vendors who missed me at this show last year because I was already too pregnant to travel at that point.  It's been nice catching up and seeing everyone again.  In the natural course of conversation people ask about Olivia.  Some know a little bit about her HLHS, while others didn't know anything.  I've been explaining it a few times over the last day and am still a little taken aback by the sympathy that people want to extend to me.  They're sorry that this happened to us and can't believe what a rough road we've had. 

I'm not insulted, I'm appreciative of their good intentions, but I sit and say "why not us?".  We are a stable loving family with health insurance and extended family and friends all around ready to pitch in at a moment's need.  I know things could be different, I know the Fontan may bring a whole host of complications that we haven't yet faced in either of the prior surgeries.  We're aware that life may not always be this blissful with Olivia and right now we're as okay with that as we can be.  That's not to say that if things go downhill in the future that we wouldn't struggle with that or mourn the life that we have now; but we know it's a possibility. 

I don't want people to pity Olivia because of her HLHS, am I glad she has it?  No - but I know it makes her the sweet beautiful baby that I know and love, so I wouldn't undo it either.  I wish there was no such thing as cancers or CHD's or anything that causes anyone pain, discomfort, suffering or untimely deaths - adults and children alike.  She has brought so much good to our hearts that I don't see how anyone should feel sorry for us, we are fortunate to be where we are today.  So why not us?

1 comment:

  1. Wow. I don't know about how you felt in the beginning Lisa but I have come to feel the same way as you now. I feel like I have come full circle. I remember just crying wondering why this had to happen to our baby when we first found out and now, like you said, it's a part of what makes her who she is. Why not us? Awesome post!