Adios Chupon!

I think, I really think the days of the pacifier are behind Olivia.  I had this idea that we were going to pull it at 18 months and then when it rolled around she was teething horribly, miserable so I did what any selfish self-centered parent desperate for a few hours of peaceful sleep would do.  I caved and said, eh when she's done with this phase we'll pull it; but not really believing it as I said it.

Yesterday Olivia was bouncing up and down on the couch under the watchful eye of her Nonna when she lost her chupon.  When she peered around to find it, my mom stealthly reached in and grabbed it before the little missy even noticed it.  Coming up empty handed Olivia shrugged her shoulders and raised her hands as if to say "It's gone".  She did it a few times last night and looked for her little burp cloth to cuddle with and bedtime was a chore and a half.  Last night as I was laying there listening to her rustle and be upset that she didn't have that little crutch to comfort herself with I felt the tears burning.  It made me so incredibly sad that I won't see that cute little face sitting in her crib waiting for me in the morning with hair all askew and promptly handing over pacifier to say good morning.  Even though they can be the bane of any parent or family's existence a baby with a pacifier in mouth is just one of the cutest sights ever.

I'm so thrilled and sad at the same time that she's such a little person and this is just another step toward big girldom.

Happy 19 Month Birthday Livvy Lou.  I love YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

In True Liv Style

Books, experts, other families and doctors will say that babies should be really communicating by starting to make sounds that sound like the beginning of words around a year old.  Think ba, da, ma, ca, etc etc.  When you have a baby that has any sort of delay in development it's just best to throw books and any expectations of "normal milestones" out the window.  Olivia had physical and developmental delays brought on by the hospitalizations following the Norwood and Glenn; moreover the physical restrictions that we had to enforce to allow her chest and upper body to heal properly made for even more physical delays.

So no surprise, we get her assessed for early assessment around six months old and start the recommended PT because she's behind her age group.  In six months she went from being around three months behind her peers to catching up to them and even excelling in a few areas like fine motor skills.  Early Intervention said we could discharge her from the program so we did until we got around 18 months and felt like frustration with communication was getting bad for everyone involved.  Speech comes in, does assessment and says, "Yes, considering she's around adults all day she is pretty non-vocal" - we recommend speech therapy once a week.

That was last week - since then, it's been consistently the following (I kid you not)

• What dat?
• Mooo & the ASL signal for "More"
• Meow - although it's the most pathetic sounding cat meow ever she will definitely do it when you ask what sound a cat makes
• Ruff - pretty weak dog bark too but we're getting there
• Mama
• Dada
• Baba - "Baby"
• Yea!
• Dis - "This"
• Dat - "That"
• Walk
• Apple

Pretty sure I've heard other semblances of things for milk, sock, shoe, outside, and kiss.  It's how this girl rolls, everything in her own time and with her flash of style.  Probably going to tell EI later this week "Thanks but no thanks"  Who knows - maybe Olivia will tell them herself :)

My Daughter the Con

Yesterday Liv and I were hanging out at home after I got home from work and I was reading on my Ipad while cartoons were in the background to buy me a few minutes of uninterrupted peace.  Olivia came over to me on the couch mouth puckered up smacking her lips like she wanted a kiss with her arms wide open to be grabbed up in a hug.  I threw aside the ipad and snuggled up that little lovebug only to get a rushed smack on the cheek as she soooooooooooo casually leannnnnnnned over past me to grab the tv remote that I had hidden behind me.  As soon as she had the goods she wiggled out of my hug, off the couch off to scramble as many of the tv settings as she possibly could before I chased her down.

She got me, she got me good on that one.  Rude!

When Reality Catches Up

The other day I came home from work stressed to the max and really struggling with a headache.  Liv to my delight was taking her daily nap a little later than usual.  I grinned, got the recap of the day from Grandma and then hurriedly ran upstairs to try and catch a few zzzs myself and see if I would wake up feeling like a new woman.  At this point Olivia had already been down for close to two hours but I thought mayyyybe I can get twenty, maybe thirty minutes of rest before she wakes up.  Thirty minutes later one of the neighborhood teenagers buzzed by blaring his stereo and woke me up, I sat there and listened for a second surely expecting to hear some stirring on the monitor but nothing.  Groggy, I just sort of laid back down and dozed again until another car noise rudely woke me up again.  I looked at the clock and thought surely that can't be right - I've been asleep for over an hour in total and still the monitor was silent.

I sat there for what seemed like forever and started getting sweaty palms thinking about what could be going on in the room just on the other side of our shared wall.  Olivia had just had a cold, a flu shot, and another HLHS baby went to sleep one night and just didn't wake up the next morning.  Could my baby have died while I was sleeping in the room next to her?  I didn't know and I really didn't want to find out.  I could have rushed in there but I fought with myself, if something was wrong, it had likely gone wrong hours before and there was nothing I would be able to do to save her at that point.  At this point of my internal struggle, I'm pacing around my room for what felt like forever (it was three minutes) and go into the bathroom to splash cold water on my face and try to get myself together.  I heard a noise and slammed the faucet shut, then another noise, it was the sweetest most blissful sound of Olivia waking up.

Quietly I made my way into her room and there she was all groggy with bedhead and a rosy face complete with little lines from her crib sheets from sleeping so hard.  At first she looked a little confused like she still expected her Grandma to be there, but then quickly looked happy to see Mommy and get her "afternoon" started.  I could have cried, laughed and thrown up all at once, I was so relieved to see she was perfectly fine after her 3+ hour nap.  It just served as a reminder to me that no matter how great things are going it could be a completely different story in the blink of an eye. Needless to say, I hugged that little girl extra tight the rest of the day and night.

And just as a sidenote, she stayed up over an hour later than usual I'm sure as result of her sweet afternoon slumber!